Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Of Friends & Friendship

We have just celebrated Friendship Day. Friend and friendship have had different meaning for us at various stages of life. As children, we had our playmates as friends. In school , we found some classmates to strike a friendship with. The friend as often described in an essay on “ My Best Friend” used to be a paragon of virtue – a brilliant student , an excellent sportsperson , born of rich parents but very humane and down to earth, without any airs, respectful and obedient etc etc. In later years, pursuing our career and vocation, may be we found some kindred souls , who fitted in the definition of a friend. In school we were told and made to write a story “ Two Friends and the Bear ” , which bore the moral: “ A friend in need is a friend indeed” & “ Do not trust a selfish friend ” - the latter purported to have been whispered by the bear in to the ear of the friend feigning death , so that the bear would leave him unharmed.

Man being a social animal has always craved for company and companionship which with some further bonding develops into friend ship.

We have had movies like ‘Jagriti’ and ‘Dosti’ eulogizing true friendship

Francis Bacon in his essay “ Of Friendship” has waxed eloquent on the need for friends and friendship, as an essential human trait and has minced no words to drive home his point.

Once , the outgoing Chairman of an institution , where I had a stint , in his farewell address advised the staff to live and be like friends and not like brothers -as he put it – as there is always a possibility of brothers falling out over matters.

I can safely vouch for the friends and friendship made in the school/college days as being true as in later years, it is not friendship but more of a symbiotic relationship , meaning, you rub my back and I will rub yours- implying that there is some give & take involved , though there are exceptions to this rule also.

One has to be wary while choosing friends so as not to regret later like the poet who wrote :

Huey tum dost jiske dushman uska aasmaan kyon Ho” !


  1. We have had movies like ‘Jagriti’ and ‘Dosti’ eulogizing true friendship....u r right..
    “ Huey tum dost jiske dushman uska aasmaan kyon Ho” !.. pakke dost milte bahut kam hai lekin jisko mil gaye samjho use sabkuch mil gaya..

  2. I cannot access your latest post on Independence day...link is broken

  3. @A:
    Yesterday I did post Independence Day good wishes for " my fellow Indians , wherever they are " but since the date appearing on the post did not synchronize with the event , I withdrew it to post it after 5-6 hours , when it would show the correct date. In between , there was sad news of the sudden passing away of a good friend .Quite naturally, personal sentiments got the better of me and as a result I could not post the good wishes. I have just gone through your well researched post and would like to congratulate you for putting everything in the right perspective.

  4. “ A friend in need is a friend indeed” - really .

  5. children are comparatively more innocent , so we feel that friends made in school life are more genuine. But In my humble opinion it varies from person to person. If a person is loyal then he/she will remain loyal, genuine and true in all phase of his life.

  6. I have few friends but very strong bond exists between me and them. I care for them and can sacrifice anything for their sake.

  7. As far as symbiotic relationship is concerned , it is just our social and other needs. It cannot be labeled as 'friendship'.